


What Howard Wants

by leonheart2012



Category: Gone Series - Michael Grant
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 16:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18265454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonheart2012/pseuds/leonheart2012
Summary: Penny said "you wouldn't believe what he wanted..."Well, here's what he wanted from Penny, with a little something extra.





	What Howard Wants

Howard looked up as Penny entered Coates. She looked around with a displeased expression, but smiled brightly when she spotted Howard.

That smile made him shiver.

She made right for him, unerring in her determination. When she finally stood before him, she squared her shoulders. “I need some sleeping pills.” She told him outright; no introduction necessary when you were feared as widely as Penny.

“What do I get in return?” Howard shot back, already getting into the mindset of the deal. This was a situation he was used to, even if it was with an unusual customer.

Penny smirked. “Isn’t the simple act of not torturing you enough?” She giggled.

 _Seriously unhinged._ Howard didn’t say anything.

Finally, Penny sighed. “Fine. Ten minutes of whatever twisted fantasy you want.”

“Twenty and no funny business.” Howard shot back. He’d honestly expected the torture to start as soon as she’d stepped into his space, but he supposed she really wanted those pills. A part of his mind whispered questions, but he shoved it all aside. Why she wanted them was no concern of his.

Penny frowned. Clearly, she’d never haggled for anything before. “Fifteen.”

It was probably the best he was going to get, but Howard pushed it, because he was programmed to. “No funny business. I want your word on that. You can’t torture me.”

She sighed again, but eventually agreed. Howard told her to come back later; it would take time to get the pills. She gave him twenty four hours. Real cop show bullshit, but Howard could respect it. Now, he just had to figure out whether his fifteen minutes should be spent with something he truly wanted – giving Penny sensitive information about him and what to use if she decided to torture him later – or if he should throw it away on something stupid like Pop Tarts. Even though that would have been a dumb request, his mouth still watered at the thought of the sugary treat. How good would it be…

No, he couldn’t think about that. That just got his stomach to rumbling like a bear. Better to think about something else.

 _Could ask for time with mom,_ Howard thought, but he pushed that aside as soon as it popped up. She would have known he was lying as soon as she saw how he interacted with her; she’d become distant after he’d told her about Orc, and their relationship had been strained ever since.

Howard sighed as he realised that there was no escaping it. Nothing else compared to his one true desire, and he couldn’t hide it from her. He would just have to tell her the truth.

 

“Do you have them?” Penny asked impatiently, arms folded. If Howard didn’t know any better, he would have said she looked nervous, agitated, anxious. As it was, he _did_ know better, so he kept his mouth shut.

Opening one of his many pockets, he dug out the bottle of pills and tossed them to her.

She caught them and hastily stuffed them into a pocket of her own. “Alright, so...fifteen minutes. What do you want?”

Here it was – the moment that had caused him to lose sleep last night. “Orc.”

Confusion flitted across her face, and she frowned, her crow furrowing in the most unattractive way possible. “Orc? Don’t you already…? Oh, you mean like...” She let out a laugh. It was a grating, dishonest sound. “So, Howard Bassem is a fairy, huh?”

“Don’t...say it like that.” He growled out, his cheeks heating. The first word had burst out of him, instictually ready to defend himself, before he remembered who he was talking to.

Penny's face lit up with delight. “Aw, am I hurting your wittwe feewings?” She mocked. Her laugh came again, even more awful that the first bray. “So, you want him as he is now, or how he was? Do you want your strong monster, or the soft one?”

Howard forced himself not to lunge at her. This, he knew, would not only be a horrible idea – it would deprive him of his one and only chance to experience his crush’s lips against his own. “How he was.” He felt even worse for asking that of her. He _did_ like Orc as he was now, but...if he could have anything…

Before Howard knew what was happening, he was transported to his old house. It was intact, magically. The walls were whole, everything was clean, and it smelled like it had before the FAYZ; of mingling lavender and frangipani, along with his own masculine musk.

Charles – Howard refused to think of him as ‘Orc’ now – opened his bedroom door, letting himself in. His lips smiled. Howard suddenly couldn’t think of anything else. He wanted to be kissing him, to be holding him.

He was. Charles’ lips were soft against his own, but it was too slow for Howard’s liking. He hungrily deepened the kiss, pulling Charles down, wrapping his arms around his neck. His heart beat fast in his chest, faster than he’d ever thought it could go. Even though he knew that Charles wasn’t with him right then, he hoped that he was doing it right, not embarrassing himself.

Charles moaned softly, licking at the seam of Howard’s lips, his tongue both rough and soft at the same time. Howard allowed him access. How could he not? He’d been waiting for this for months...or was it years, now?

Howard was holding nothing, his lips parted for air, his eyes closed against the light of the afternoon sun. Penny was beside herself, giggling, holding her sides.

Knowing better than to argue that it hadn’t been fifteen minutes, he turned on his heel and stormed out. He was light-headed. He wanted both to remember that kiss for eternity and to erase it from his memory. He saw a kid his age running, presumably to one of the fields. Howard stopped him.

“Hey, what’s your name, kid?” His voice sounded raw to his ears, raspy and vulnerable. He cleared his throat.

The boy’s eyes darted off in the direction he’d been running, but he slumped his shoulders as if resigning himself to some unknown fate. “Liam.”

“Well, Liam, tell me something...have you ever been kissed before?”

His head jerked up, his eyes wide. “Wh...what are you…?”

Howard wished he was drunk. “Just answer the damn question, kid.”

“No. I...no.”

Howard took a second to look him over. He’d never seen him before. Sandy blond hair fell into his eyes – not yet long enough to tie it back into a pony-tail, even if they’d had the means to do so, but well on its way – which were a deep sea green. His nose was short and sharp, upturned at the end, giving him an almost piggy look, but it was more endearing than ugly. His skin, which looked more than a little tanned, was an earthy brown, but where his shirt shifted, he was almost blindingly white. The sunburn of the first few months must have been agony.

“Do you need a drink?”

Liam’s green, green eyes widened just a little more. “I have...errands to...”

Howard hadn’t waited for his answer, just started pulling him towards the distillery he’d set up. Liam was either too scared or too curious to struggle. He just hoped that Penny was already out of there.

When they got to the makeshift distillery, she was indeed gone, much to Howard’s relief. He dragged Liam to the stool and shoved him onto it. He noticed the boy looking around anxiously.

“Don’t worry. Your errands can wait.” He pulled out a bottle of his alcohol. It was crude, and burned the throat more than branded stuff, but it did the job when it came to making everything woozy.

Howard pulled the top off and took a swig, wincing at the taste. He handed the now-open bottle to Liam, who took a small sip before gagging.

 _What am I doing?_ He asked himself as he watched the boy spitting out the acrid liquid. Now that he was closer, Howard could see that he wasn’t actually Howard’s age; he was probably eleven or twelve, just tall. He looked scared.

 _Not so different from me…_ Howard thought with no small amount of shame. He sat down heavily on the ground, the tiled floor of the cafeteria cold through his thin clothing.

He liberated Liam of the bottle. “What was your family like?” He asked, just to have some conversation. The silence was cutting into him.

“Uh...” Liam looked down at him, still wide-eyed. Howard wondered if he looked like that perpetually. “My mom was a teacher at the school. Dad worked for the power plant. It was nice, I guess. No siblings or anything, just me. They...they loved me.” His voice was getting thick, and Howard cursed himself. Talking like this brought back all the memories. He asked himself again what he was doing.

“We lived right on the beach. Mom bought it when granddad died. Dad wanted to buy another car, but mom was adamant about it. It was pretty quiet there, except for when people would throw parties.” A smile had come to the boy’s face. It made him look even cuter, which was doing nothing to stop Howard’s desire to kiss him. “My friends would sometimes come over to play video games, and we’d all eat...” Both of their stomachs rumbled, making Liam laugh. “Well, it was nice. I had everything I could want...” He frowned. “I still wanted more, though. It’s funny...now that I don’t have all that stuff, I want it more than I ever wanted it when I had it...you know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” He blinked up at Liam, wondering whether his alcohol was potent enough to be making him feel light-headed from just one swig. He decided it didn’t matter. “Liam, did you ever...have a crush on anyone?”

“Yeah, of course. Bette...” He trailed off, looking nervously at Howard. It took him a second to realise why.

He waved off the boy’s concern. “It’s Orc who feels stuff about that, not me. I don’t really...wasn’t my fault.” The mention of Orc made him ache so badly he took another swig.

“Oh. Well, I liked her. She was sweet, you know?”

Howard’s mood depressed even further. He was straight. _Just like everyone else in this damned fishbowl._ He took another long pull of the bottle. Things were definitely woozy now. He set the bottle down and laid back.

Liam came to kneel next to him. “Did something happen?”

Howard frowned at him. Since when were twelve year olds so perceptive? Especially twelve year old boys.

“I just...it was a weird first question, and you seem pretty upset...you know?”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “Rejection.” He said simply, not willing to tell the truth.

“Oh.” Liam’s hand found his shoulder, fingers tentative. “Sandy rejected me. Said I was...wasn’t worth the time.”

Howard sighed. Another girl. His heart clenched. Why couldn’t he just like girls? Why did he have to be such a...such… “Say that again?”

Liam had kept talking through Howard’s despair, and something he’d said…

The boy’s cheeks heated, his eyes shining with fear. “Uh...I...it was just a slip-up...”

“Sandy was a boy?”

“Um...I...” His shoulders slumped. “Yeah.” He whispered. Howard’s heart buoyed with hope.

“It’s okay.” Howard said in a low voice. “I like boys too.”

“You...you do?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed. “What...what did your parents say about it? Did they know?”

“They didn’t. I was scared to tell them.” He looked up, his eyes now holding a fire fuelled by hope. “Did your parents know?”

Howard sighed. He really didn’t want to burst this kid’s bubble, but he also didn’t want to lie. “Yeah, they did. Dad didn’t really care but mom...she really wasn’t happy, you know?”

Liam’s fingers nervously made their way to Howard’s cheek. “Is...why did you ask me here?”

Howard blinked. He wasn’t sure he even knew anymore. After a long pause – too long – he shrugged. “I guess I just needed someone to talk to.”

The boy’s mouth quirked up in a small smile. God, he really was cute. “Whatever you say.” His lips brushed Howard’s cheek in a chaste kiss.

Howard stared at him. “Since when were you so bold?”

“Since you lied.”

Despite the strangeness of the situation, Howard found himself liking the boy more and more. He grinned at Liam, who grinned back. Slowly, their lips met.

Liam melted away into thin air, and Penny stepped through the fog. Howard wasn’t drunk anymore. He scowled at her. “Was that really necessary?”

She shrugged, a wide, evil grin on her face. “Oh, I hope I get to torture you someday, Howard. You’ll be so much fun.” She gave him a small kick and sauntered away. Or, she tried to, but it was more of an exaggerated shuffle.

Howard lay back against the tiles and rubbed his hands over his face. He wouldn’t cry. He absolutely refused to cry because of that witch.

No one bothered him for the rest of the day and that, more than anything, made his chest tighten, pangs of pain assaulting his heart, eyes becoming wet. He really had pushed everyone away.


End file.
